OAKBORO, NC — Sharon Ingram was startled by the fingers gently rappingon her car window as she read her book while waiting for her 10-year-old son to finish football practice.
She looked up to see a man she barely recognized, a father on the team with a kind smile and dark brown hair who introduced himself as Jason Bartellbut told her to call him "Jay."
"Are you Jordan Poole'smom?" he asked.
Jay already knew the answer. She was the only Black parent at a practice with one Black child on the team. He also knew her story, and the loss her family had endured duringthe previous year.
"The reason I ask," said Jay, who is white, "is that after practice we always go out to eat. I was wondering if Jordan could come with us?"
Sharon was reluctantat first—the instincts of a single mother trying her best to juggle afull-time job that paid $11 an hour, two growing children and the grief of losing a husband just monthsbefore onMarch 17, 2013.
"I was adopted," Jay told The Fayetteville Observer. "So I understood what it meant to have someone reach out that wasn't part of the family. They were hurting, and I wanted to reach out."
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She decided to acceptthe invitation for her son; it wasthe start of a relationship that would changethe lives of Jordan and Jay and create an inseparable bond between two families separated only by a short stretch of highway but two towns in Stanly County— Locust and Oakboro— that are worlds apart.
"I know it sounds corny, but I feel like they've both learned a lot from each other," Sharon said. "They've both had a big impact on each other's lives."
Fast-forward to 2021, and Jordancalls Jay by a different three-letter name.
"He's my dad," said Jordan,now a freshman linebacker on NC State's football team. "He changed my life. He's probably the biggest reason why I'm here in college right now."
'He would be so proud of Jordan'
Jordan grew up in Oakboro, a small town 40 minutes eastof Charlotte with a population of around 2,000.
He grew up happy, but as his mother put it, Oakboro was "a tough place for a Black male to grow up."
Jordan was lucky to have a great role model in his father, Gary Poole.
Gary was known in the community as a selfless man, putting the needs of others ahead of himself.
After spending six years in the Marines, Gary worked as a plant manager of a marble company in Stanly County. When the company laid off 21 of its 32 employees during the 2008 recession, Gary volunteered to be laid off to save a married couple from losing their jobs.
He still found ways to make ends meet, making sure his children didn't go without.
"Everyone I talk to about him says he always had a smile on his face, and that he was a very hard worker," Jordan said. "He always did his best to give us everything we needed."
Jordan was enrolledin multiple sports—baseball, basketball and football — and proved to be agifted athlete. So was hisolder sister, Kelsey, who played basketball and fast-pitch softball.
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Gary attended all of their sporting events, even as he suffered silently for more than a year with unexplained headaches and fatigue. One day his left arm went numb. It scared him enough to go to the hospital.
Sharon remembers the day clearly: picking up Jordan from football practice and swinging bythe McDonald's drive-through for a quick dinner before heading home. Her cell phone rang as she pulled into the driveway.
"You need to come to the hospital," Gary said. "They found something."
A CT scan had revealed two tumors on his brain. He would need immediate surgery and had to travel to Charlotte to get the procedure done.
He had the surgery Monday and returned home that Friday. The next morning, hebrought a folding chair and umbrella and planted himself on top of the small hill overlooking Jordan's football game.
"He (Gary) wanted to be there for Jordan," Sharon said. "More than anything. He would be so proud of Jordan."
Gary knew he was running out of time. He'dbeendiagnosed withglioblastoma, an aggressive type of cancer that kills 75% of patients within a year. He died a few months later, but even while he was sick, he'd drive Jordan to school and tutoring.
For Gary, education was the most important thing.
It was Gary,a professional boxer and kickboxer, who passed down his athletic abilities to Jordan, who rose to a four-star prospect as a running back and linebacker at West Stanly High School.
Jordan graduated last December after committing to NC State, forgoing his senior season of high school football that was pushed to February amid the pandemic.
"I feel like I play football for him. Whenever I do something on the field, sometimes I say thank you to him, because I feel like he's the one who made that play possible," Jordan said."I do that for a lot of things in my life."
Lost and found
After the death of his father, Jordan went from a happy-go-lucky kid to a quiet introvert. He lost another father figure shortly after, when Gary's brother, Chuck, also died from cancer.
Uncle Chuck's house was always on Jordan'sroute when he rode his bike around town. Chuck would sit out in his yard and preach the value of hard work to Jordan, making sure he was minding his mom and keeping up with his homework.
"He really shut down after that, because he believed that everyone he did good for would die," Sharon said. "He had a really hard time that first year."
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Sports, particularly football, became an outlet to deal with his pain, a light in the darkness.
"That's how he took his aggression out," Sharon said. "And then when Jay showed up, I think he started to blossom having a father figure like him around."
The initial dinner invite for Jordan turned into regular sleepovers with Jay's son, Jake, at the Bartell's home in Locust —about 10 minutes West of Oakboro in a suburb of mostly upper middle-class white families.
It was a new experience for Jordan. He found a new circle of friends and an always-ready place setting for him at the Bartell's table.
More and more, Jay began filling a parental role for Jordan, buying his new shoes for basketball season,a coat during the winter and a cell phone when he started middle school.
Jay had started his own plumbing business when he was21and became a successful real estate investor in North Carolina and Georgia.
"I'm not a millionaire or anything," he said. "Heck, my house only has one bathroom. But I have enough to help."
Jay even hired a tutor when Jordanbegan struggling in math,attending parent-teacher conferences at school along with Sharon.
"I've never tried to replace Gary," Jay said. "Jordan had a great father who did everything he could for his son. The least I can do is to try and see that through."
When Jordan entered the seventh grade, the school district released plans to redistrict the county, which would move Jordan from West to South Stanly Middle School and change his trajectory to South Stanly High School. Jay's son, Jake, attended West Stanly Middle School and would be attending West Stanly High School.
"They basically redistricted the entire Black community in Oakboro," Sharon said. "I knew South Stanly would not be a good fit for Jordan. I knew that would take away a lot of the time he got to spend with Jay and his family."
It was decided, with full consent from his mom Sharon, that Jay would take primaryguardianship of Jordan, so he could remain at his school. Jordan still stayed with his mother part time, but his permanent address was changed toJay's house in Locust.
"I've always done what's best for Jordan Poole," Jaysaid. "The best thing for Jordan Poole was for him to go to a school where I had connections, where I could use my white privilege to get things done for him. I know I have that privilege, and I know that sounds bad, but sadly, that's the way things are sometimes around here."
Racial profiling: 'We live it every day'
When Jordan turned 16 and was old enough to get his driver's license, Jay bought him his first car —a used two-door 1998 black Mercedes Benz coupe.
It was a generous gift, but in Oakboro, a young black man with a nice cardraws the wrong kind of attention.
One night, as Jordan drove to his grandmother's house, he was pulled over twice by local police because of "over-tinted windows."
The first time, the officer, a white police captain, recognized Jordan as a teammate on his son's basketball and football team. He was allowed to continue his drive home.
Less than a mile down the road, hewas pulled over again, this time by another squad car. A flashlightwas shined in his eye as he was met with unfounded hostility by one of the officers.
"Do you smoke weed?"
"You know people who smoke weed?
"Do you have weed in the car?"
"I don't smoke," Jordan replied. "I don't do any of that stuff."
Jordan was removedfrom his vehicle and placed in handcuffs. A drug dog was called to the scene,sniffingthrough his belongings as Jordan tried to remain calm.
They found nothing but the lunch leftovers in his backpack.
Jordan was released only after the first officers sawhis car pulled over again and stopped to clear his name.
"I remember Jordan told me that when the other copsarrived, the cop that accused him of having drugs was like, 'Oh, crap. I just messed up,' " Sharon said. "They found out who he was and that he was a great athlete and a good kid."
As Jordan pulled into the driveway at his grandmother's house, exhausted from the night's events, he once again saw cop cars behind him as officers approached his vehicle.
He rolled down his window.
"Hey Jordan, you want to make a quick $50?"
"What do you mean," Jordan said.
"The deputy who pulled you over thinks he can beat you in a foot race. He'll give you $50 if you beat him."
Jordan had just won the 100-meter dash at the county track meet. He raced the deputy and beat him so bad he was handed $60.
Jay was outraged when he heard the story for the first time. He sold the Mercedes and bought two matching white Land Rovers for him and Jordan.
He also installed GPS tracking inJordan's car so he wouldknow if Jordan hadbeen stopped for a long time.
"I absolutely support the police, the fire department and all our first responders," Jay said. "But that experience gave me anunderstanding ofwhat it's like to have a Black son and the fear that comes when he's driving,"
It was a wake-up call for Jay, and it was Sharon who had to explain to him the realities of being Black in America.
"White people may see racial profiling on television or read about it, but we live it every day. It's something we are used to,"she said. "We've been so fortunate to have Jay in our lives and I'm so appreciative ofthe opportunities that he's given my son. But I also think it was important for him to understandthe things that we as Black people deal with every single day."
'More than a son to me'
The pain of that night only made the bond between Jay and Jordan stronger. There was never a question that Jordan was a permanent part of the Bartellfamily.
Jordan joined them on vacations to the beach and learned to snowboardin the mountains. He did chores around the house in between football practice and homework.
Jay and Sharon sat together in the stands on Friday nightsas Jordan built a reputation as one of the best football players in the state.
As a freshman at West Stanly, Jordanrushed for 730 yards and seven touchdowns while alsoplaying linebacker. He rushed for 869 yards and nine touchdowns as a sophom*ore and increased his total to1,534 yards and 22 touchdowns his junior season.
Jordan's star began to rise his sophom*ore season and he began collecting Division I offers.
Jay drove him to camps all across the East Coast and the offers began to stack up. By the time Jordan committed to NC State on Aug. 18, he had 10 other offers that includedAppalachian State, Coastal Carolina, Duke, East Carolina, Florida State, Louisville, North Carolina, Old Dominion, South Carolina and Virginia Tech.
He was named an All-American during his junior season.
"If you look at all the pictures of my recruiting visits, he's the one there with me in all of them," Jordan said. "He's the one who sort of led me through that college experience."
Although Jay had grown very protective of Jordan, he did his best to stay out of the decision-making process when it came to Jordan's athletic future.
"I tell him all the time, 'Jordan, you're more than a son to me,' " Jay said. "All I've ever wanted for him was to be a good man, and all he's ever needed was a little bit of guidance. It was never about him becoming an All-American football player or anything like that. It just turned into that."
Jay was right by Jordan's side when he signed his letter of intent to attend NC Stateand helped Jordan move into his dorm in mid-January.
He's already made an impact during spring practice for the Wolfpack.
"He's everything we thought he would be athletically," NC State coach Dave Doeren said. "He doesn't make the same mistake twice."
Jaytraveled to Raleigh this week to watch Jordan play in his first spring scrimmage game, his heart full of the same pride that Gary felt when he watched his son play football years before.
"That's my son," Jay said. "I couldn't be any prouder."
Sometimes Jordan's new NC State's teammates ask about Jay.
"Who'sthat white guy who comes and visits a lot?"
"Oh him?" Jordan will say. "That's just my dad."
David Thompson is an award-winning reporter for the USA TODAY SportsNetwork covering NC State and Duke athletics. He can be reached at dthompson1@gannett.com, at 828-231-1747, or on Twitter at @daveth89.
